[PDF / Epub] ✅ Deal Breakers: When to Work On a Relationship and When to Walk Away By Bethany Marshall – Peakpopa.info
This book is great because it helps you step out of the love bubble where you are blind and think he ll get over it one day or he ll change, and allows you to view him for what he really is Also gives you the tools to decide whether to work on the relationship because you love him, or walk away Haven t finished it yet, but so far it s really helped me clear my mind and step away from the oh woes me to the idea that I still have my own life and can choose the path I want to take. You know all those questions you ask yourself when you are dating someone Well this book really helped me sort out answers to them So, I definitely recommend it to anyone who is in a relationship or looking to learn about relationships.Just knowing what I picked up from the book helped me to decide what my answers are, which gives me a great jumping off point towards realizing what is really going on when I feel like I m missing something The information about the give and take and how things get agreed upon and what makes a healthy relationship and how to handle things and what to do if it s you or what do do if it s him ect was all to the point and useful.I did think that the writer was a little comma happy and found a few mistakes but overall the tone of the book was a great balance between actually being comprehensive and informative while maintaining a friendly, funny, and easy to read tone. This books is about understanding not only how to negotiate negative personality s in a man or negotiate it I think this book is also gives good perspective s ideas on reflecting on your self, a negative personalities you may be inflicting in the relationship eg making assumptions, acting like a child, being narcissistic, controlling or distant This is why I am giving it five stars as it applicable for all Skills to consider 1 Love yourself Learn to be the prize learn to communicate without a fear of being abandonment, cause you are confident in your value, ask for what you need because you are worth while investment Understand the moment you ask him to accommodate you, you will discover if he trully loves, and because your self esteem comes from within not from him you are willing to take a risk you are loving individual and this fact won t change even if he chooses to leave the relationship Even though you might waver about his leave, you know that you hold your eggs not in his basket but in yours You have people who love you and you can create your own life regardless what s happening between you 2 Learn to love him Learn to place value on yourself and then place a value on him Have your own life, plans go out Have regular conversation about your relationship Talk about your needs and feelings and encourage him to speak to you Find a way to communicate the way he understands Accept him for who he is Understand his point of view, situation form his eyes Show appreciation Invest in the relationship have sex, priorities each other, do things for each other, ask him what makes him happy What turns him on Nurture him according to his needs as well as yours Sick help for addictions but he needs to solve this on his own and find his own solution Your job is to provide emotional support Meet his needs of emotional security, love, trust Characteristics of deal breaker you work harder to fix his problems than he does to make the relationship better you are asking yourself is it me or him You think it somehow magically will make it better hoping that he will stop drinking, smoking, will start achieving ect And you recognize if he doesn t you will be constantly worry how your relationship will be affected in future you continue to suppress your feelings and needs your personality to avoid the conflicts you fee mistrusted that you are afraid to have friends and other influences you either for him when he is in a good mood or against him when he is in a bad mood you are unhappy you long to make a connection with him but he doesn t he continuously draws his conclusions without taking or listening to your views, values, believes You are a product of his fantasy and he is unable recognize you as individual, your feelings and motivations He likes empathy and remorse and not concerned about how you feel problems never resolved and nothing ever gained Negotiating a deal with different personalities 1 Scriptwriter let him know that he doesn t see you clearly and write your own role Remember a scriptwriter turns feelings into facts and fear into realities Therefore it s important to get his cooperation and understanding before writing your own senario Explain to him that he doesn t see you clearly Outline the differences of his perception to who you know you are Warn him that you have been suppressing your true personality to meet his expectation and he should expect different behavior from you in a future 2 A man in charge to deal with this type Explain to him that you listened to this audiobook and have decided to set some boundaries eg go out with girls without getting a phone call all the time 3 A man without fault feels that he has all the right answers In most cases he will refuse to be open for discussion The best way to deal with this man, is to step back and ask yourself who is this man really Do I really need to feel inferior and afraid Look beyond his self promotion, question everything he said about himself Ask yourself what do you get out of the relationship Tell him how you feel when he devalues you If he can support you in what is beneficial for you, you may get a deal4 An invisible man keeps disappearing, relationship with this man maybe deceiving, he may appear attach but attached for wrong things It is difficult to complain as he isn t present, he is always doing but never connecting The best way to negotiate is to show this man that connection will alive both of your lives, if he doesn t relationship will be empty Note a lot of men become invisible when they do not want to be in relationship If he says he wants to be in the relationship he needs to learn to break out of his doing and connect with you eg after reading go for a walk together If he resists intimacy, he needs to take hold of his fears and spend quality time with you If it s workable situation relationship will grow, but if you are pushing and he is pulling, you need to re examine your need to be in the relationship 5 a little boy charms his way into your life, he is flexible, in conflicting and charming When the relationship sets in he becomes a little boy who wants to be taken care off What happens when you meet his potential and he doesn t What happens when he become needy What happens when you take care of him and he doesn t and take you for granted You need to explain to him that he needs to grow up, that in the next hint that he can t regulate his impulses and feelings get jealous, loose temper, gets drunk, without considering consequences you are going to leave the relationship or will refuse to clean his mess Ask yourself why would you want to be with someone who doesn t love you Remember that you left the relationship because it wasn t working Healthy man shop list 1 You feel he wants you, willingness to make plan and move the relationship forward If he doesn t call in advance and make a plan he is not interested in having emotional relation Constant emailing, text messaging is not true contact, as he can t touch you, see you, adore you or get to know you You see that he learned something already, he is progressing in life never makes plans for the future he isn t tend to back out s he doesn t send mix messages A healthy man says what he means and means what he says Words are backed by actions, even if he can t guarantee the relationship moves forward In the right relationship you feel reciprocal and mutual, emotional support, appreciate you, surprises you with little something or remembers your favorite drink When he is out of sight he doesn t turn into someone else His perception of you doesn t change, he compliments you, takes pleasure of you In healthy relationship you are free to express your personality, sexuality He will tolerate unexpected and unknown as he trusts you He has a good sense of himself He has a learning curve for instance if you say you want spend time together he will shift his behavior to spend time with you He is willing to learn from his mistake and modify his actions He will meet your needs, include you in his decision making If you continuing to see yourself in painful relationships ask yourself where are you going wrong Are you recreating painful relationships Am I refusing to be opened to new experiences Am I attracting wrong guys cause I am emotionally unhealthy person that I expect a man to be Perhaps you not expect to be treated well Are you fearing to be intimate with a man who wants you Do you dread confinement s of the comment Perhaps you are scriptwriter eg past bf chested and you are afraid convinced a new partner will do the same Are you unknowingly fulfilling your own prophecy by unknowingly choosing cheaters Try something different try to date men you not instantly turned on by What are you trying to fix from your childhood by choosing those men That don t conform your fantasy or ideal Know you values, your decisions, picture of who he is and who you are with him Take a responsibility for new experiences, find a man who makes you feel the way you want to feel around your man Communicate instead of fixate Who is your man Is he capable of changing How can you talk to him about the problems you are facing are the questions to ask Notes Characteristics of deal breaker you work harder to fix his problems than he does to make the relationship better you are asking yourself is it me or him You think it somehow magically will make it better hoping that he will stop drinking, smoking, will start achieving ect And you recognize if he doesn t you will be constantly worry how your relationship will be affected in future you continue to suppress your feelings and needs your personality to avoid the conflicts you fee mistrusted that you are afraid to have friends and other influences you either for him when he is in a good mood or against him when he is in a bad mood you are unhappy you long to make a connection with him but he doesn t he continuously draws his conclusions without taking or listening to your views, values, believes You are a product of his fantasy and he is unable recognize you as individual, your feelings and motivations He likes empathy and remorse and not concerned about how you feel problems never resolved and nothing ever gained Author also outline different difficult male personalities 1 the scriptwriter views you through his length decides who you are without consulting you making a mind about you without asking you first impressions picks up small details about you, puts you in the role, he interprets his feelings as facts, and believes in them in a long run you may see yourself playing the role he assigned which isn t your own warning signs develops his own conclusion without developing deep understanding what you are saying, interprets everything in his own lens what causes him to be his way is maybe how he was treated as a child, played assigned role set by his mother close one She didn t see him accurately therefore he can t see you accurately Eg if mother imagines he son is hungry she feeds him but in reality it s her In relationship he may think that you are incapable and all success is due to him danger you might act in the cast role and believe the same.Key noticeable scripts you are keeping things from me you are never there for me without me you are nothing gold digger mummy in the kitchen thinks you never leave, waiting for him at home Do not conform into his script How to know Listen what he tells you on the first date Have your own life Why you would choose that partner you are not attuned to The question to ask you what bad partners you established What happened in the past that led you to choose such person Is the partner reminds you of someone Did your parents decided for you and never allow you to become a person you meant to be Traumatic event Or role you had to play in order to be loved Denial from mother 2 man in charge intolerant to people or situations he can t control first impression appears reliable and flexible In few key areas control vs care don t believe you are capable, questions your decisions, control certain areas of your life believes you can t succeed on your own his parents may have been controlling 3 man without fault believes that he is important then anyone else, doesn t take a responsibility for his actions, can t self reflect self observed avoids commitment relationship evolves around him, thinks he is special than anyone else, his views are important respond poorly to change minimizes negative impact his actions have on others first impression his life is better, his skills, he is impressive and by association you are unique too At the start he will adore you, wow you, make you feel special Later, you feel like you nag, may confuse that you are taking advantage, in his eyes you serve a purpose He is critical of you and judging Why he acts this way Maybe his care takers Devalue and critical Made him feel worthless How to spot Everything evolve around him, when ask for respect feeling worse after leaving it When you want to talk about misbalance in the relationship you feel a fear that he will start deflating on you Why would you choose this partner Chances are you want to be appreciated how you would feel do you feel that you are be Len nothing without him, your opportunities diminish 4 little boy who posses as a man 5 the invisible man I live with illusions, he is emotionally constricted, unwilling to feel, shut down and alone, prefers time by himself, engages in activities just to appear social first impression quite, distant, steady, confident over time avoid recognition what others think, oblivious to social interactions, but when he opens up he is emotional inside Self brand shutting down own emotions Childhood Volatile intrusive overbearing mother, and he may find this is the way to hide Hold men accountable for his actions, don t take it personally critical man Refreshingly Simple AdviceIf you want clear cut examples, information and decision making strategies, this book is for you There is plenty of humor, without sugar coating the real problems that some relationships face I believe that you will truly know what you SHOULD do for you by the end of this book but whether you do it or not is obviously still up to you. This Is A Book About Men Not All Men, Just Emotionally Unhealthy Men The Ones Who Make You Question, Is It Him Or Is It Me Am I Making Too Big A Deal Out Of This I Try To Tell Him How I Feel, But He Says I M Overreacting Or Needy Or It S All My Fault Relationships Are Hard Work, But How Hard Should They Be When Do You Know You Are Struggling Too Hard To Make A Relationship Succeed Deal Breakers Is About Getting Out Of This Relationship Purgatory Where The Present Is Unfulfilling And The Future Is The Only Thing You Can Hope For But There Is No Magic Future If He Won T Work On Problems Today, It S Unlikely They Ll Ever Be Resolved And Passively Hoping For Change Will Only Cost You Years Of Depression Or Expensive TherapyDr Bethany Marshall Is Here To Remind Women That Relationships Like Business Relationships Are Deals In The Business World, A Deal Breaker Is The One Nonnegotiable Term That, If Not Agreed To, Means The Deal Is Off But In The World Of Relationships, Identifying Your Deal Breaker Can Be Much Promising, As It Holds Out The Possibility Of Helping You To Understand Where The Relationship Has Gone Wrong, What Needs To Be Done In Order To Make It Better, And When To Walk Away Because You Re Doing Work Than Him To Fix ItA Deal Breaker Is A Boundary That Smart People Set For Themselves Because They Know That Falling In Love Can Make Them Do Stupid Things Through Case Studies, Deal Breaker Scenarios, And Suggested Courses Of Action, Deal Breakers Expertly Guides Frustrated Women By Defining Your Deal Breaker, You Hold All The Power To Create The Happiness You Deserve Read this on the recommendation of a friend of mine who is currently facing divorce It s interesting how the different personalities are defined to reinforce the idea of a deal breaker I don t, however, believe that every person fits into their specific boxes My husband, for example, portrays pieces of several of the different personality descriptions, no one single description that sort of fits ranking any higher or lower than the others So the information is good, the deal breakers and definitions used to work on them or walk away from them are definitely things to keep in mind and consider, but I don t believe the personalities are always as black and white as they may sometimes be described The lines do blur, and if you re in a situation where you need this type of information, it s best for you to adapt as needed for your situation don t think it has to come straight out of the box for it to work. Deal BreakersReally gives you sound advice and an ulterior perspective to take into consideration when you feel stuck on a relationship merry go round Practical and to the point gently but bluntly Puts into words what is being felt inside when you know something just isn t right but have a hard time defining what it is and being able to determine what action to take Love the author s attitude as far as that you don t have to feel guilty for taking actions to have a happy life after allyou only get one systematic examples of why relationships get in a rut and how women can identify why A lot of examples were about men but this book also helps women identify how they could also be the problem rather than their spouses I agree with Dr Marshall,before anything in a relationship becomes a deal breaker, you have to have a deal lack of deals is why many women are disrespected in relationships We need to change this wow, a lot to think about this was a really good book for seeing problems in yourself as well as others and straightforwardly a word advises you on the next step i think one of the best points dr marshall makes is that you need to be happy in this moment constant looking towards the future is a big indicator that you re not happy NOW. This was one of the easiest self help books I ve read I find that most read like a research paper This was actually entertaining and I flew through it This wasn t much help in my life, since there wasn t anything in here that I don t already know, but I do enjoy these types of books for some reason.